Sheer Madness of the Marauder Sort
by exiled mind
Summary: A birthday present gone awry leads, finally, to a declaration.


This ficlet was written for a fic exchange celebrating Remus Lupin's birthday. Many, many thanks to my patient beta readers.

Feedback and concrit are greatly appreciated.

* * *

It was the smoke that gave Sirius away, or, rather, the _smell_ of the smoke. It cut through the sharp, clean smell of the stubborn winter and caused Remus' sensitive nose to wrinkle.

Sirius was sitting with his long legs dangling over open space, partially shielded from the wind by one of the massive stone gargoyles that dotted the roof and parapets of Hogwarts. His broom was resting in the statue's outstretched claws; Remus allowed himself a smile at the ridiculous sight. He preferred to keep a good hold on his broom (borrowed from James) while he was this high up, but then again, Sirius had a very different interpretation of "danger".

Remus wasn't sure what to comment on first – Sirius' terrifying perch or the chaos he'd left behind in the Gryffindor common room.

Upon seeing another cloud of smoke released into the air, he rolled his eyes and said, "Nasty habit, that."

Sirius' shoulders hunched further and he didn't spare Remus a glance, preferring to take another long drag on his cigarette. They had never quite seen eye to eye on this particular habit.

"So…" began Remus, again, before realizing he didn't quite know what to say. "That went… well."

Sirius snorted, and Remus caught the ghost of a smile that crossed that handsome face, before Sirius buried it under layers of scowl and irritation.

"Shut. Up."

His voice was calm, but Remus could feel the embarrassment rolling off Sirius in waves.

"It's not that bad. The fires are all out, and most of the pixies have been recaptured."

After a moment of silence, Remus realized that his reassurances weren't having quite the effect he'd hoped for. With a sigh, and a prayer that the wind wouldn't choose this moment to gust up and launch him off the roof, Remus walked up to Sirius and dropped down to sit at his side. He sat closer than was strictly necessary, but told himself that it was because if he fell, he was certainly going to drag Sirius down with him. It was only fair, Sirius being the cause of the majority of his misfortunes these days.

Sirius was just so _distracting_. He would chew on the tip of his quill, even the ones that weren't Zonko's sugar quills, while making grand plans with James of what they would do after leaving school. More than once, Remus had been caught staring at Sirius, and had to mumble some pathetic excuse and leave the room quickly. He'd also spilled food and drink all over himself countless times when he was distracted by Sirius' voice regaling them all with tales of his latest Slytherin torture ideas.

And Sirius seemed to turn up everywhere - in the corridor after Remus left the shower, primping in the mirror in the mornings as Remus brushed his teeth, sneaking a smoke out by the lake when Remus went out to collect his thoughts… His constant, distracting presence made had the ability to make Remus stutter, trip over things, and, twice, walk into walls.

Remus' response to seeing Sirius all the time irritated him, but he also felt a surge of disappointment when said distraction _wasn't_ there. The times when he looked around, expecting to see the unrestrained smirk and glinting gray eyes and Sirius wasn't nearby, Remus felt almost bereft. It was… frustrating.

Remus wanted to say it was puzzling, but he knew that would be a lie. Not much to puzzle out, really.

He was longing after Sirius Black.

And after tonight, he began to suspect that perhaps, just perhaps, those feelings were reciprocated.

That was why he'd left James and Peter to explain to Professor McGonagall why several of her younger students (for those in the older years had certainly become used to such antics by now) were in the hospital wing babbling incoherently about exploding cakes and flying birthday candles, and risked a flight up to the roof of the school in the near-bitter cold.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, their breaths frosting in the air, until Sirius finished his cigarette and stubbed it out on the gargoyle's base. He was clearly contemplating flicking it off the roof into the darkness below until Remus cleared his throat pointedly. Instead, he pulled out his wand and the nub disappeared with a pop.

"I was only trying to make your birthday memorable, you know," Sirius told Remus sadly. "Coming-of-age should be special."

"I doubt I'll forget this night, Sirius," Remus replied dryly.

For the second time of the night, Remus observed Sirius Black do something completely uncharacteristic. He dropped his head into his hands and ground out, "I'm sorry."

Sirius Black had just apologized.

Remus wasn't quite sure what to do with himself, it _was_ a rather momentous event, after all. If he hadn't been so concerned about both Sirius' apparent mental instability (more so than normal, at least) and their proximity to a long fall and painful death, he might have made a joke to that end.

This had turned into one of the odder nights of Remus' life, and that was really saying a lot.

After the traditional round of birthday morning pranks at Remus' expense, Sirius, James, and Peter had dropped hints all day about the party after dinner and whose gift Remus would like best.

It had all started quite nicely, in fact. Smuggled firewhiskey had loosened up a number of the students in attendance, and there were sweets galore. Laughter and chatter filled up the room as Remus began to relax, finally believing that the day's pranks were finally over.

He should have known.

After opening up a number of packages containing books, a large box of chocolate frogs from Peter, and a new winter cloak from James (who insisted that it was Lily's idea, although Remus suspected that James was just tired of seeing him shiver each trip to Hogsmeade), Remus came to Sirius' gift. It was a large box, and had the words, "_Do not tip, tap, or shake_!" written on each side. Remus had pulled off the bow and begun to remove the top, when it burst open in front of him.

Everything after that was a blur of candle-carrying pixies, flying bits of birthday cake, and screaming students diving for cover. The pixies, clearly enraged at having been boxed up for so long, flung bits of icing and melted wax around the room. A curtain was pulled from its holdings to tumble down on top of Remus, trapping him beneath it. And then the pixies set it on fire.

It was sheer madness.

And then, Sirius Black, _the_ Sirius Black, who would normally have been laughing so hard he might risk turning blue from lack of oxygen, looked… horrified. The nearly ill expression on Sirius' face was a wrench to Remus' stability; Sirius could usually be counted on to find _anything_ funny.

Only he hadn't laughed. In fact, as Remus watched, Sirius ran his fingers through his hair in a very James-like motion, turned, and fled the room.

Remus spent a few moments lost in the confusion, fighting his way out from under the smoking drapery. Once free, he had extinguished the worst of the flames with a stream of water from his wand, ensured that no one was seriously injured, and sent the more anxious of the students off to be fretted over by Madam Pomfrey.

Seeing something on the floor underneath the upturned box that had once held his birthday cake, Remus reached down and grabbed a familiar looking piece of parchment.

Ignoring a harried-looking Lily Evans directing the older students in pixie capture techniques, Remus walked up to the boys' dormitory and, once alone, took out his wand and said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

And it worked.

He, Sirius, James, and Peter had been working feverishly to finish the map by the end of term ("Else what's the point if we can't use it ourselves?" Peter had said), but had been having trouble getting the map to accommodate the changing nature of the Hogwarts stairs and corridors.

Apparently, Sirius had solved the problem and wanted to present him with the finished product for his birthday. Although Remus could appreciate the effort, he didn't understand why Sirius thought it would be a good idea to give it to him in front of all the other students, or why the pixies were necessary to the process.

Ignoring that for the moment, Remus scanned the map until he found the little marker representing Sirius up on the roof.

And now here he was. On the roof, in the cold, only centimeters away from a long drop, with an _apologetic_ Sirius Black.

It only further confirmed Remus' suspicions.

Remus took a deep breath, and nudged Sirius until the other young man finally looked over at him. "You know I'm fond of you, Sirius, don't you?"

Sirius only stared at him, face carefully blank, clearly unsure of the import of Remus' words.

"In a more than good mates way."

Sirius' reply was hesitant, "You… are?"

"Yes."

"In spite of my ruining your birthday?"

"It would take more than a bit of fire and a curtain to change how I feel."

There was a long pause before Sirius said, "And by fond, you mean…?"

Remus took a deep breath, and nearly succumbed to a violent bout of coughing when the icy air filled his lungs, which was why (he told himself) his voice sounded so odd when he replied, "IthinkthatImightloveyou."

"Oh," said Sirius. "Good. Me too."

That wasn't the response that Remus had hoped for. "You love yourself too?"

Sirius scowled at him and punched Remus' arm, causing Remus to rock to the side and look down towards the distant ground. He yelped and grabbed at Sirius, clutching at him around the waist in a death grip.

"Please don't do that again." Remus tried to exude calmness and composure, but he had a feeling that he'd given himself away when he'd practically jumped into Sirius' lap.

"Alright, Moony." Sirius patted Remus' shoulder awkwardly, before releasing Remus' hands from around his waist and tucking Remus into a more comfortable position against his side. "What I meant was that I think I love you too."

Remus smiled, and they sat a moment longer in silence.

"Good work finishing the map. There were times when I thought we'd never fix it."

"Yeah, I figured you'd be pleased with it. I'm sorry things didn't go as planned tonight. I really am."

"It's okay, Sirius. I've kind of come to expect this sort of thing to happen. Maybe not the pixies, but fire, chaos, and screaming first-years? Definitely."

Sirius snorted, and squeezed Remus closer. "So, you and me? We're…?"

"Happy. Let's figure the rest out another time, okay?"

"Alright. Happy birthday, Remus."

"Thanks, I rather enjoyed it." Remus decided not to mention the freezing cold, the sooty smell in the dormitories, or the fear of heights. It balanced out in the end.

"I'm glad. You're not going to hop into my arms and kiss me senseless in celebration?"

"I'm already _in_ your arms."

"Hmm, I suppose you are," Sirius smiled into the top of Remus' head, the puffs of his breath shifting the brown strands in a lazy dance. "And the kissing?"

"You smell of nicotine, not until you brush your teeth."


End file.
